Or else.

I'd like to thank everyone who offered me support when I needed it most. You've really helped me to see that it isn't all hopeless and that there is more to life than what's been handed to me by circumstances beyond my control. I'm going to do what I can to keep my head up in the days to come. 

I've followed a lot of advice I've been given, from looking into certain government programs, to looking to the generosity and kindness of others, to cutting off ties with my father and seperating from my past, and with a lot of new opportunities ahead of me I really do feel more wanted and in turn feel more of an attachment to the world around me.

But enough of the sentiment, I just wanted to say,

Thanks.

I have decided to at least give a few days of thought before deciding whether or not to end my life. Nothing good could come out of simply rushing to the decision. If I go through with it, I want to make sure it's not something I'll change my mind about when it's too late. So you may see me around, until I decide what to do going forward.

It's a pretty simple question. How are you doing?

Make love to me, right here, right now, Newgrounds!

I feel it. I have reached a point where I do not really give a fuck about most things and it actually feels pretty nice, without so much worry and stress.

Have some FFDP lyrics for your trouble.

"Hate your face, hate your lies and the blank look in your eyes, hate your needs, hate your wants, hate the way you love to taunt. Hate your voice, makes me cringe every time I hear you speak, it's uncomfortable to know you share the same air as me. Hate your lack of common sense and I'm tired of compromising, take a good look at the end, 'cause it's just on the horizon. I've been wrong about a lot of shit, this I know is true, There's a hundred fucking things that I hate about you!"

Since the average adult male contains 100,000 calories, I have decided to simply kill and refridgerate some of my family so that I can save some money on groceries. Hopefully this will give me enough money to upgrade my shrine to My Little Pony, but there's absolutely no certainty.

Discuss how much you like horse ass below.

is a fucking douchebag.

.ssucsiD

I've been back into modding, as of late, and I have a few things in progress that may interest you.

First thing I'm doing is making an HD mod for SCP: Containment Breach. Besides high resolution textures, it is also going to feature reworked voice acting to try to make it a bit more immersive. I have some professional voice actors working with me for this.

I've been working on this mod for a while and it should be done quite soon.

Second thing I've been working on is an Amnesia mod. The gist of it is that you're a Berlin researcher in the early 1900s who was studying an Orb recovered from the ruins of Brennenburg, when one late night none of your coworkers showed up and things started getting quite a bit strange around the lab. If you couldn't tell by the plot synopsis, it takes place in the same universe as the original game, Amnesia: The Dark Descent. It is going to be voiceacted and if I can get around to it will feature custom models. I am using some of the models from Penumbra but might work on custom modern models too.

I've just started this mod so it shall take a while until it is complete.

If anybody is interested in helping with either project, here are the things I would be looking for help with:

-Somebody/several people to help model some of the furniture for the Amnesia mod.

-Somebody/several people to beta test either (Or both) of the mods

-Somebody/several people to write a review of one (or both) of the mods upon their release

-Somebody/Several people to peform/compose music for the Amnesia mod.

PM me if you wish to help or just want more details on either of the mods.

If you're expecting something witty/funny, this post is the wrong place. I'm simply venting some of my thoughts. Some of this may seem stupid to you so if you're not the philosophical type it probably won't interest you.

I believe that morality as a concept is misleading, or even entirely incorrect. Many people have claimed that 'Good' and 'Evil' don't exist before me, I know, but even that doesn't cover it. I believe that there is some kind of 'Good' and 'Evil', but the definitions are entirely incorrect.

Good and evil are more or less this in my opinion; the more 'good' something is, the more they agree with your point of view and work well with the values you hold dear, while the less they hold your values and the less they agree with you, the more evil you perceive them as.

Morality is subjective. It's a lie we use to cover up choices we make and try to disguise the fact that choices are our own. I feel like the truth is this; we are each our own 'team' of sorts on the morality scale. The more somebody is like us, the more we try to help them, the more different they are, the less we'll help them. Of course there are exceptions where we'll help them anyways, but these are almost always due to external factors.

We'll do what we must to advance the people who, in our eyes, 'are' us. Our team, if you will.

There are no immoral actions, simply actions. Some 'teams' will be hurt these actions and consider them to be 'immortal', while others will benefit and consider them 'moral'. 

As such, morality is a burden I try to rid myself of. This is why to some I may seem so cold. I try to do everything objectively. Sometimes people get hurt by this; I try to avoid it, but sometimes it is necessary. Such is the cruelty of life. Everybody is both evil and good, it just depends whose eyes you're looking at them through.