Chdonga 2011-10-22 17:01:31

Godawful.

Okay, so I was stupid enough to, after going to a Taco bell, have a nice dip at the city pool. I'm getting ready to walk over to the shallow end when I see this smoking hot blonde chick about to dive in. Now this is bad enough as is, as I am so prone to getting massive boners from seeing even average looking girls in swimwear. Anyway, she sees me right before diving in and we exchange awkward glances. I saw that she had braces and my dick woke up almost instantaneously. The shit felt like it was about to rip a hole through my pants and fly off into that chick's rack. So without thinking, I try to hide my rager, which only makes me look like a bigger creep. I slipped into the deep end and I didn't have any arm floaties or a water weenie, so I did what any black man does in water: I started freaking the EVER LIVING FUCK out and flailed my arms like a madman. In my panic, my asshole explodes and I let out a massive brown cloud of diarrhea shit in the water like an octopus inkspray. Just barley, I could hear muffled screaming, people getting out of the pool. I had no idea what was going on. There was shit in my eyes and mouth and still gushing from my ass, so all I could do was float, and hope God would take pity on me and I'd drown in my shit. Instead, I calmed down and was able to resurface. I got a firm grip on the edge and emerged from the liquid feces. I wiped the shit from my eyes when I realize I'm naked and drenched in my own filth like a shitty swamp monster. Everyone is staring at me in shock and horror before they run away screaming. I tried to shout out to apologize but instead I just made a gargling sound with shitwater spewing from my mouth. I tried to run away but instead I slipped, hitting my head on the asphalt and getting knocked out cold. I awoke in the hospital to be told that I have to pay expenses for the pool, in addition to being called "The Shit Monster" by the city for the rest of my life.

The-Last-Guardian 2011-10-22 17:53:52

I've been well.